The Cost
by theimpossiblegrrl
Summary: What is the cost of bravery and courage? A character only nominally mentioned in the canon discovers that she has more of both than she could have imagined, with a little help from the man she grows to love. Just a little smut, rated M for that reason. Slightly AU, but not too off canon to really notice, since a character in the background never leaves many ripples. Complete.


A/N: Not mine, no money, Suave Shampoo broke.

This is very short, and I use the words "Chapters" loosely because of that. As you will read, it's mostly to help shift points in time. I wanted this to be a longer story, but these guys looked at me and said "no". Charity was always in the background, and that's really where she wanted to stay. And Severus, being himself, was irritated that he'd forgotten to burn the letters and let the story of his second love be found.

Anything in italics with quotes is surely very much not mine. The quote from Dumbledore is directly from "The Goblet of Fire."

 **The Cost**

" _I am strong against everything, except against the death of those I love. He who dies gains; he who sees others die loses."  
_ _Alexandre Dumas_

" _Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"  
_ _"Lately, only those whom I could not save," said Snape.  
_ J. K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_

 **Prologue**

It was never in her plan to return to Hogwarts as soon as she did. But, Charity's life never did seem to go to plan, in the end.

When she took her NEWTs, she had dreams of returning to the school to teach. Eventually.

Her immediate dreams after school were more in tune with marrying her sweetheart and taking a job at the Ministry. However, when her first love took a job in Romania to wrestle dragons and the Ministry job brought more tears than joy, the open position in Muggle Studies seemed like a welcome diversion.

She didn't know – couldn't know – that this would be the best and worst decision of her life. She was well aware of the rumors that He Who Must Not be Named had possessed a teacher and student in the years she had been gone. But she was naïve enough to this that it was not possible that he could _really_ return. He was gone, defeated, a distant memory and not one that she even remembered with much clarity.

How very wrong she was. Hogwarts was the last place an opinionated Muggle-born Professor needed to be. But, then again, Charity Burbage always had the knack for being in the wrong place at the right time.

 **Chapter 1 - 1993**

Headmaster Dumbledore drummed his finger elegantly on his desk as he stared down the man sitting before him.

"I won't do it, Albus," Severus Snape said.

"I think you will, Severus," Dumbledore said. "I think you will, and furthermore I think you will thank me in the end."

Snape glared at the Headmaster. "Why on Earth would I thank you for making me mentor the child you hired to teach? A child I happened to _detest_ when she was still a student."

Dumbledore smiled. "You do realize she's the same age you were when I hired you, do you not?"

Severus rolled his eyes. " _I_ was not a dreamy eyed Hufflepuff who thought that the whole world was made of sunshine and rainbows," he said contemptuously, remembering the dreamy eyed student who had irritated him to no end with her perpetual sweetness for her entire seven years at Hogwarts. "Neither was I a Muggle-born witch," he said more seriously. "Don't you think that it may be a dangerous time to place a Muggle-born in such a visible position at the school?"

Dumbledore did not waver. "I am not inclined to discriminate against a fellow wizard based on their birth. I didn't think you were, either, of late."

Severus grimaced and stood up, almost knocking his chair over the process. "Is this a game to you?"

"Indeed, it is not, which is the reason why I hired her. Will you do the job I have asked you to do, a job I trust only you to do? Or will I have to leave her to Filius and Pomona, who will coddle her like a little doll, or Minerva, who will scare her worse than you will?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled softly in the dimming light of his office.

"What makes you think I honestly care? You give me too much credit, Albus."

"She'll be arriving the castle tomorrow morning around ten o'clock. She'll have the same office and classrooms that Professor Kent left," Dumbledore said, effectively dismissing Severus. He watched the young man shake his head and huff his breath before he turned on his heel and left.

When he heard the door slam, the Headmaster finally let himself relax briefly. He hadn't let Severus know, yet, that he had hired Remus Lupin as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, and he still didn't know how to break it to him that his childhood nemesis would now be a colleague. He hoped that perhaps having a new teacher to mentor would offer him a needed distraction. If the relationship blossomed to friendship, so be it. Merlin knew Severus needed different ears than his own to confide in, and Charity's time as an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries was good indicator that she understood that some words were meant to be kept in strict confidence.

It hadn't been the only reason he hired her. She was a Muggle-born witch, which made her more qualified than anyone to teach on Muggle Studies, regardless of her solid NEWT scores. She had the kindness and gentility to care about the students who would need a loving hand in the coming years, especially if his estimations about the timeline of Voldemort's eventual return were correct.

Indeed, Charity Burbage was exactly the kind of professor Hogwarts needed at this very moment.

* * *

"You can't make me, sir," Charity said to the Headmaster.

Dumbledore looked at the young woman in front of him and realized that not for the first time in his life, he might have made an error.

"Professor Snape hates me. Has done since I was eleven years old and terrified of everything to do with this castle. Do you really think he's the best choice of people to mentor me? I'll quit," she threatened.

Dumbledore had suspicions that the Ministry was still sending her owls daily, asking her to resume her former position as they could not find someone to fill it. How could they, when they weren't allowed to tell anyone about the position without immediately Obviliating them?

"You won't quit," said Dumbledore. "In fact, when all is said and done, I think you'll end up thanking me."

"Thanking you for what? Forcing me to put up with more abuse from him? You are being absurd," she said. When she realized she was speaking to her employer, she lowered her head and apologized. "I'm sorry, sir."

Dumbledore looked at the young woman kindly. "I won't take offense. I _am_ absurd at times. And, you'll find I prefer the company of people that speak their mind." He looked at her so intently that for a minute Charity thought that he might actually be reading her mind. "You are different than you were as a student," Dumbledore said as he thoughtfully put his hands on his desk in front of him.

Charity nodded. "It's only been two years, but with Charlie leaving like he did, and then the job …" she frowned. "I'm not as sweet as I used to be, I guess."

Dumbledore smiled softly. "That will work to your advantage. I was worried, when I hired you, that you would be a too much of a pushover to effectively teach."

"You don't have to worry about that, sir. I mean, I still am the same person I was in most ways. But I've learned to speak my mind and _not_ get pushed around like a used to."

"Then Severus being your mentor will not be a problem," he said, his eyes sparkling. He knew that the mentoring match between the two professors truly would be a successful one if she really had learned how to stand up for herself.

Dumbledore had to stifle a laugh when he saw her eyes narrow.

"If he can't be nice, can Professor Sprout take over?"

"Of course," he said. "Do you remember where Professor Quirrell and Professor Kent's classroom and office were?"

"I do," she said, knowing she was being dismissed. She stood up and smoothed her robes. "I can show myself there."

"Mr. Filch has surely had your trunks delivered to your rooms by now. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you," Dumbledore said. He watched the new professor leave the room with a little smile on his face.

* * *

Professor Snape was in her office, waiting for her when she arrived. He hadn't changed at all in the last two years, though she hadn't expected him to. Same greasy hair, same crooked nose and smile, same black robes that made him look as though he should be going to a funeral rather than teaching.

"Should I be worried that Professor Quirrell left any Dark surprises for the next professor?" Charity asked.

"I shouldn't think so," he said, sounding surprised at her question. "He found the Dark Lord when he was on sabbatical before he started teaching Defense, so his old Muggle Studies areas should be fine." He paused before he continued. "However, if it makes you feel better, I did examine them myself last year just to be sure."

"It does," she said. "Hello, Professor Snape."

He nodded at her, his eyes momentarily veiled by his lank hair. " _Professor_ Burbage."

She snorted. "Only you could make that sound like an accusation."

Snape merely shrugged. "I do find it odd that I have a previous student now teaching alongside me. One day, you'll understand." He regarded her. "I'm honestly surprised your name isn't Weasley now. Didn't want to chase young Charlie around Romania?" he asked.

Charity looked down at her hands and chewed her lip as she would have when she was still a student. "I wasn't invited." She walked over to her trunks, making sure that they were all there while trying to collect her thoughts. "Aren't you supposed to be mentoring me about teaching rather than quizzing me about my love life?"

"Touchy subject?"

She silently cursed herself for letting him know he had hit a nerve. "Very, sir," she said. "You should know about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, his eyes narrowing on her.

Charity gulped. "Nothing, Professor Snape," she said quickly, ducking her head as she examined the books that the previous professor had left.

"Answer me, Miss Burbage," he said, spinning her around to face him. She felt her hair fall in her face with the force of the action.

"I'm not allowed, sir," she whispered, becoming as afraid of him as she had been as a student. "I was an Unspeakable."

He groaned as he let her go. "The Ever-Locked Room?"

Charity blanched before she nodded. She decided it wasn't telling if he guessed.

"You know about Lily, then," he said, so softly she had to strain to hear him.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's one of the reasons I left. I suppose I can tell you that I studied heart break." She swallowed. "I couldn't bear it every day anymore. I asked Dumbledore not to place us together," she said. "But he wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Nor on my part, either," Snape said.

"He will place me with Professor Sprout if it truly doesn't work," she said.

"No, he won't," he said. "I'd wager he knows that you know about my … about me, and that he wants to use that to his advantage."

"How's that?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes. "He wants us to be friends, Miss Burbage. Do I need to spell it out?"

She shook her head, fighting the urge to glare at him. "You don't need to do that. _Severus_ ," she added, feeling as though she were in pain when she said his name.

He looked at her for a long time before he admitted, "I have forgotten your first name."

"Charity," she sighed.

"Charity," he repeated. He studied her again before he added, "Truce?"

"Truce," she said. She had a smother a very Hufflepuff smile at the thought of having made a new friend. Even if it was with a greasy bastard.

 **Chapter 2 – 1994**

Severus didn't realize that he was looking for her until the conscious thought came to him that she was missing the festivities. The Yule Ball was in full swing. The Champions already had their first dance with their partners, and the Weird Sisters, whoever they were, were playing at a deafening roar that had necessitated him taking a Headache Potion. Charity hadn't been required to chaperone that night; he remembered her triumphant, if not gleeful, squeal when she was saw she was not on the duty list in the staff room.

But she said she _was_ going to come, he had been sure of that. "I've never been to a Wizard Ball," she'd said when Minerva had described the plans to her at the staff meeting. She'd looked at him hopefully before turning back to her conversation.

That meant she was coming. He was sure of it.

When the Weird Sisters left and Filius turned on the wireless to let the students continue dancing, Severus decided he must have been mistaken. But, by then it was time for him to patrol the grounds. It never ceased to amaze him how stupid teenagers were. He found so many students snogging in bushes and necking in the parked carriages that he was amazed the houses had any points left.

Igor found him during his patrol, and the idiot actually wanted to talk about their Dark Marks in ear shot of the students. Merlin help him, Igor wanted to hide away like a coward while the Mark grew darker every day. Didn't he know that no one could hide from the Dark Lord? To hide would mean certain death.

He found Charity in the Astronomy Tower, her back to him as she was staring out across the school grounds. She looked as though she had been to the Ball, though knew he had not seen her. In the dim light he could see dark green dress robes peeking out from underneath a heavy cloak.

"Where were you?" he asked.

She jumped before she looked back at him over her shoulder. "On patrols," she said, turning back around to the snowy night sky.

"I thought you were off," he said, now genuinely confused. He walked to the railing next to her.

"I volunteered," she said, not meeting his eyes.

"Now, why would you do a stupid thing like that? You said you wanted to go." He peered over at her and swore he saw her rolling her eyes.

"Not alone," she sighed, looking down.

"Was Charlie going to come back for a quick visit?" he asked. He cursed when he watched her back turn rigid at his words.

"That's a very insensitive thing to say, considering he came and went after the first task without even a hello," she said, tersely.

"It was. I apologize," he said. "I guess it's that boyfriend in Hogsmeade that you are keeping under wraps."

"Don't be absurd," she said, sounding a little absurd herself in his opinion.

"Then who was going to ask you?"

She paused. "No one, Severus." She gave him a watery smile. "No one at all."

Then he finally knew it. Her emotions had freed themselves to the point that he could sense them. "Me? Have you lost your silly little mind, Charity?"

"Obviously you have," she said, grimacing up at him. "We could have just gone as friends. I'm not the kind of person who is comfortable going to dances alone."

He blew out a breath, glad that he'd misread her.

"There was someone, over the summer," she said, her eyes looking very far away. "He was a Muggle from the village where my parents live. But, the idea of a long distance relationship really didn't work for either of us, so we ended it."

He stared at her. "You didn't mention it before."

"I don't talk about Charlie, either, do I?" she asked.

They stayed there, studying each other, until she turned and bid him goodnight. He watched her gracefully walk down the stairs and stared back out into the night, trying to ignore the prickling he felt on his left forearm.

 **Chapter 3 – 1995**

Charity walked down to the dungeons after she settled back into her rooms upstairs. Severus would be there; he was always the first person back to school from what the other teachers told her.

But all of the cauldrons were empty. The dungeon was stone cold.

She rubbed her thumb over the engagement ring on her finger. She and Henry, the man she had dated last summer, had met up again and decided that a long distance relationship would work for them after all. She hadn't told him she was a witch, yet. That would come in time, if ever. She could pass as a Muggle for the rest of her life, once they married.

She'd had enough after the Third Task, but as she had already signed a contract to teach for another year a full month before Cedric's death, so there was nothing she could do. Charity would not back out of her commitment.

Just one more year and she could flee the wizarding world forever and live like a Muggle, which is the choice her parents should have made for her when Professor Sprout came to their house to tell them she was a witch.

One more year, and she would leave this school forever, break her wand, and not look back.

Except, she would look back.

She and Severus had become friends, best friends really, and she would miss him dearly. She decided she may keep an owl in her back yard in case he wanted to write after she left. She scratched that thought as soon as it entered her brain – she knew he wouldn't. As soon as she left she would be out of sight, out of mind for him yet again. In two years he probably wouldn't remember her name, even if she'd always remember his.

He came back two days later, appearing in her office looking haggard and thinner than she remembered.

"Hello," he said, looking over her shoulder at her lesson plans for the first few weeks of the term.

"Hi, stranger," she answered, not looking up until she finished her thought. "Bad summer?" she asked.

He nodded. "Quite. I hear you have news," he said, looking at the ring on her left hand.

"Oh, yes," she said, automatically lifting her hand for him to see before she lowered it after she remembered who she was talking to. "Henry decided one year would be doable for a long distance relationship."

"You won't come back next year?" he asked, still staring at her ring. She decided to lift it up after all and let him look at it. He took her small, slim hand in his and looked at the small diamond solitaire on her finger.

"No, Severus," she said. She looked at their hands together, confused about how perfectly her hand fit into his. "After this year I am going to leave altogether. I don't want to be witch anymore – not after seeing Cedric dead on the Quidditch field."

"But you _are_ a witch," he said, still not letting go of her hand.

"Not according to the Mark on your arm. What will happen if he rises to power again? Will they take my wand? Burn my home? Or just kill me?" she said, finally snatching her hand away. She stood up and walked across the room. "They'd probably make you watch for sport because you were once friends with me."

"Stop it. You're being ridiculous," he said, moving next to her though he did not touch her. "You would be protected here."

"Maybe I would be, but what about the people I love? What about my parents, what about Henry?" she all but shouted. "I want to be where they are and happily disappear back into Muggle life."

"You'll never be able to disappear, don't you know that? They could sense your magic from a mile away," he said, sounding very young. She knew he'd had this conversation before, though with a woman with bright auburn hair. "You are a stronger witch than you think. Even if you break your wand, they will find you."

She bowed her head and began to cry. "Then what do I do, Severus? How can I protect them?" She felt a tentative hand on her shoulder, patting her clumsily.

"You will have to part ways. You can't leave _this_ life, Charity. But you _can_ leave theirs."

She sobbed in earnest now, and those awkward hands drew her in to a warm embrace. She breathed in his warmth before she breathed in his scent. She froze when she knew where she had smelled it before.

 _Amortentia._

They kept a cauldron constantly bubbling in the Ever-Locked Room, and her first day as an Unspeakable was the first day she had ever smelled it, as she was ill the day they studied it in Potions. When the swirling steam hit her nose, she'd smelled the fire in the Hufflepuff common room, hot chocolate, and a scent she'd never been able to place in the two years she worked there.

Charity knew something had affected him too, because he pulled away from her suddenly, and set her aside like an old doll.

"Severus?" she asked.

He backed away. "It's nothing," he said.

"Severus, please," she said, moving towards him.

"Leave it," he said. She nodded and stayed where she was.

"You have time before school starts, to go back and do what you must," he said. He walked to her office door as thought the matter were closed.

"I'll go home tomorrow," she said sitting back in front of her work.

Severus nodded, but he stayed and stared at her until she looked back up.

"What?"

He looked at her very intently when he said, "If I hear a word that anything could happen, I will tell you."

She grabbed her handkerchief her tears began to spill over cheeks again. "Thank you, Severus," she said.

He walked out the door, his robes trailing behind him.

 **Chapter 4 – 1996**

"Can you believe she just walked into my room, sat down as though she belonged there, and then proceeded to ask me the most ridiculous out of turn questions I've ever heard throughout my entire lecture?"

Severus smirked as he watched the incensed witch pace around his office until he had to look to see if she'd worn away some of the stone.

"In all my life, my entire career, I've never been so –"

"You are not even twenty four and have only been teaching for three years," he said, covering his mouth with his hand to hide his smile.

"Shut it," Charity said.

"She did the same thing to everyone else – "

"Nope," she said, walking over to him and placing a finger on his lips. He resisted the urge to kiss it, but only just. "I know she's done it to everyone, but she and I used to pass each other every day at the Ministry."

"Made you bosom buddies, didn't it? Tell me again what she said about your lesson on Muggle rights? 'Unneeded and wasted knowledge for our tender youths.'" he said, smirking.

"If you don't stop, I am going to slap you like a Muggle," she said. She really looked cute when she was angry, and Severus was having the most fun he'd had in the last couple of weeks by irritating her further.

"Would it make you feel better? Ouch!" he yelled when she held true to her promise and slapped his arm. It hadn't really hurt, but she didn't need to know that.

"Oh, Severus, I'm sorry," she said, her hands going to his bicep and massaging it lightly. "Quit pissing me off and I won't get so physical."

He rolled his eyes, sure she couldn't see him. Her little hands were good for grading papers and soothing a sad student's tears. Violence, they had no place for.

"Any better?" she asked while still rubbing his arm.

"No," he lied, stretching his arm under her hands. He would let her stay there, touching him all day if he could, but he knew it was no good for either one of them. They'd maintained their friendship after they'd realized that they were more deeply bonded than they'd realized. But only just.

During the Christmas holidays, they had both opened up about recognizing each other's scent when smelling Amortentia. Of course, this was after drinking some of the Firewhisky he'd received from Dumbledore as a gift. One thing led to another, and they had fooled around that night – not having sex, but close enough that she could not meet his eyes the next day.

Severus could meet her eyes, easily, even with the memory of what her little hands felt like when she touched his body. It was a memory that kept him up at night, in more ways than one.

When he felt Charity's hands travel from his arm to his chest, then down to his stirring groin, his eyes flew open. Her usually calm, grey eyes were dark and sparking with lust.

"Can't stop," she said, as her little hands went to work on the buttons of his trousers.

Severus shut his eyes and breathed in the soft, sweet scent of lilacs. "We can't," he said, trying to push her hands away.

"I know, Severus. But, I don't care," she said, taking him in her hands and rubbing him slowly, bringing him fully to life.

"I care," he said. But then he realized she was in far more trouble for being his closest friend and confident. Being his Muggle-born lover at this point would not matter.

He waved a hand at the door, making sure it was locked and warded. Then he kissed her, and this time she didn't taste like Firewhisky and Christmas sweets. He could taste her own flavor on her lips, and when she opened her mouth to him, her tongue searching for his, he knew that they could not hold back this time.

Severus was sitting in his favorite chair by the fireplace, which he realized was made for such needs. He motioned for her to remove her teaching robes, and he unbuttoned her blouse. He licked his lips when he yanked down her bra, exposing her breasts to him. She unfastened her skirt and stepped out of it, revealing long legs that he couldn't seem to stop staring at.

"Are you on the potion?" he asked.

She nodded, and he waved a hand over her abdomen, casting a Contraception Charm, just to be completely on the safe side.

He felt Charity's hands move to his chest, and he helped her with the dozens of buttons on his coat, vest, and linen shirt underneath. He shrugged out of them all, enjoying the resounding thud of the restrictive garments on the stone floor. Her tentative hand covering his dark mark was almost his undoing.

"Did it hurt?" she whispered, rubbing a thumb over the tattooed skin.

He nodded and didn't recognize his voice when he answered, "It still does."

She kissed him again, while helping him kick off his trousers and boots. She removed her bra and knickers and straddled him in the large leather chair. He took himself in hand, nudging until he found her entrance. He thrust up and she pushed down, and when her wet heat clamped around him like a glove it was better than he had dreamt it being. He couldn't seem to take his hands off her. Breasts, hips, buttocks – it was all soft and lush and perfectly made for him. They rocked against each other, moving as though they couldn't even stop for breath.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear.

Severus couldn't even make articulate words at this point, though he wanted to whisper the words back to her. He knew even if the Dark Lord Apparated into the room at this very moment, he would have to finish before even acknowledging his presence. It was too good, too perfect.

Charity came quickly, her body convulsing around his in a maddening rhythm that caused him to immediately follow her. He felt her collapse against his chest while she caught her breath. Her silky hair was against his face, and wanting to see what it looked like down, he removed the pins one by one. He heard a giggle bubble in her throat, and he watched her sit up and finish the job. The intricately crafted hairstyle was gone, and the glorious gold hair fell like a waterfall to her waist.

She leaned in to kiss him, and when that hair fell across his body like silk he was completely lost.

 **Chapter 5 – 1997**

Dumbledore was dead.

Charity looked around her office, at all the places Severus should be but wasn't.

She did not see him thumbing through her mother's cookbooks, the ones she had inherited at the beginning of the year when her parents died in a car crash. She did not see him sitting behind her desk, lecturing her on how to properly handle problem students as though he were still her Professor. She did not see him by the hearth, drinking a glass of her wine while laughing at something stupid that she said in order to get that rare sound to appear. She did not see him pacing around her heavily warded office, worrying over Draco, cursing Harry, and silently suffering over the one thing he said he could not tell her.

They had stopped their affair almost as soon as it had started, and somehow their friendship had grown and strengthened in the aftermath. In her mind, if friendship was all they could have, then it would have to be enough.

She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if Severus killed the Headmaster, it was part of a bigger plan. She'd seen Dumbledore's withering, black hand getting worse all year. It didn't take a genius to tell that he had been cursed. If Severus had killed him, it was because he was already going to die.

Charity looked at her trunks, packed and ready for the summer holidays. She was going to her parent's now empty home to write.

She knew that the target on her back would grow even larger, and that by agreeing to write this article for the Prophet she may have effectively signed her death warrant. She knew that if Dumbledore was dead and Severus could not save him, he would not be able to save her from that fate.

She did not care.

She remembered the words that the Headmaster spoke at Cedric's memorial, and how much she had wanted to make the easy choice to run:

" _Remember, if the time should come when you have a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."_

She remembered the fellow Hufflepuff who had once been her friend. The Goblet of Fire had not chosen a courageous Gryffindor, a wise Ravenclaw, or a cunning Slytherin to be the school's champion. No, it had chosen a boy from the underdog Hufflepuff House. The loyal ones. She had almost forgotten who she was when she tried to run away.

In her mind's eye, she could see Henry and the life she could have had. Babies, grandchildren, a little cottage with a flower garden in the back. But Henry never would have measured up to the man she left behind, and in the end she was glad she stayed – even if she became a martyr for her fellow Muggle-born witches and wizards.

She looked at the clock and knew she needed to leave soon if she was going to catch the staff train. She looked back over the letter she'd written this morning.

 _S,_

 _I don't know if this letter will even find you, though I hope it finds you well._

 _You have my unwavering faith. Please know that._

 _I am about to do something that you will chastise me for later, if there is a later for me. You will not be able to save me from whatever fate brings me, nor do I expect you to, even if I face you in front of a squad of Death Eaters. There are more important things than me to save. If I ask you to help me, know that I am only sending you my love. If I plead, for Merlin's sake know that I understand there is no other choice._

 _If there is a later for me, my only wish is that there is a later for both of us, and that we will have a later together._

 _For me, it never stopped. I am as bound to you as I was the day it began, my beloved one._

 _C_

 **Epilogue - 1998**

Minerva, Poppy, and Hermione were the ones to retrieve Severus's body from the Shrieking Shack.

Minerva wept.

Poppy cleaned up the body and levitated it to transport back to the school while the other two witches stood guard for any Death Eater that might have remained.

"We never even knew him, did we, Poppy? All these years. I taught him and then taught next to him. How could I have missed who he really was?" Minerva sniffled into a handkerchief that Hermione provided her from her deceptively little handbag.

"He was such a private soul, Minerva. Even as a boy. Who could have known that he loved Lily Evans for all these years?" Poppy said. She looked at the thin, blood soaked body, and unfolded the sheet she would use to cover it for transport back to the school.

"I had suspicions when he slept outside Gryffindor Tower after calling her that word, but you would have thought it would have been the talk of the school, or that he would have just told her at some point," Minerva said.

Hermione watched the two witches who knew the man so much better than she ever did. To her, he had been a bully, the only teacher that she came to truly despise. Except that after seeing his memories when Harry left them in Pensieve, she found she had only pity the man.

"There's something in his pocket," Hermione said, seeing several pieces of folded parchment sticking out of his coat. She grabbed them and read the first letter, which was the fragment of the one that had they had searched for in Sirius's room in Grimmauld Place.

She showed it to the other witches and told them of the rest of the letter they'd found while on the run.

"Who knew he was a romantic underneath all the sourness?" said Poppy.

"Merlin's wand," gasped Hermione, finding the picture of Harry's mother next in the haphazard pile.

"That sweet girl," said Minerva, looking at the picture of one of her most favorite students laughing at something that had been cut out of the picture.

Hermione had to fight back tears when she found one addressed to "S" and signed with a letter she could not make out, as it had been obscured by large circles that looked like tear drops. She passed it to Minerva, who read it and passed it to Poppy.

"You don't think it was from Lily?" asked Poppy, looking at Minerva.

"It couldn't be. Whoever sent it put a date on the corner. It was written last year," said Minerva. She looked at Hermione. "Did he reveal that he had a sweetheart in his memories?"

"No, his memories only alluded to his love for Harry's mother," Hermione confirmed.

"He wouldn't have released those memories, would he Minerva? Lily was the reason he made the choices he did for the last sixteen odd years. That's what would have driven Harry to fight, not his memories of a new love," Poppy said, looking even more forlorn over the desiccated body before them.

Hermione shook her head before she looked at the last letter in her hand. What she read brought her to tears.

 _You are both gone now._

 _My first love, because of a poor choice I made in my youth to trust someone who promised me eternal glory, and also because of my own pride and fear that you would not want me over James Potter. I held you in my arms while your son begged you to wake, though you never would again._

 _My last love, because in the end you refused to back down from your beliefs that directly opposed the creature that I hope will soon be dead. When you spoke the same words that Dumbledore spoke before he died, I knew you still meant what you wrote to me in the letter. And Merlin help me, I have no regrets, except that there was not a later for us._

 _I could save neither one of you._

 _I don't think I can save myself now. I know he is starting to realize that the Elder Wand will not work for him since he did not kill Dumbledore himself. No one realizes that the wand's allegiance is to Harry, and no one will, until the time is right._

 _My only hope, is that when I am beyond the veil, I will see you both._

 _One of you will be with your husband, as it always was meant to be. My loyalty for you has never changed, and the day I saw you swinging with your sister on the Muggle playground remains the happiest memory I have. If I live through this, I imagine my Patronus will always remain yours._

 _The other I hope is waiting for me to arrive. There is a later for us, though it is not the later you imagined, nor I. For it never ended for me, either. I would have been satisfied to love you from afar forever if it meant that you were safe. But you were far braver than I could ever be. And I will always be bound to you, my beloved one, both here and beyond._

 _If Albus is there, I imagine that we will have to finally thank him._

 _S_


End file.
